The Saudi Arabian government are understood to be reviewing hospitality arrangements at their consulates around the world this morning,  after the treatment of a visitor to their Istanbul facility fell below accepted standards. The visitor was reportedly set upon and killed by staff, before being hacked to pieces and having his body disposed of in an unknown

  Actress Keira Knightley is understood to have written a script for a new version of Cinderella, which she intends to pitch to Disney. The news comes in the wake of an interview this week on the Ellen Degeneres show, in which Knightley said that she had banned her daughter from seeing a number of

  Women’s groups  were celebrating yet another giant leap forward towards full equality this morning after Kleenex announced they have bowed to pressure and  will no longer be branding their tissues ‘Mansized’.  Equality campaigners say the move recognises the fact that women can produce just as much  snot, mucus and general nose gunk as any

  Daniel Craig has turned the tables on all-round arse hole Piers Morgan after the Breakfast TV presenter criiticised Craig for  transporting his baby in a front-mounted papoose, saying it was emasculating. The criticism led to the headline “Piers Morgan Mocks Daniel Craig For Carrying Baby.” “At least I can take the bugger off” the

  The Queen has expressed concern that her next great-grandchild will be ginger after Prince Harry and the Duchess Of Sussex announced that they are expecting their first child next spring. A spokesperson for Buckingham Palace told The Bugle. “Obviously it’s a big concern for everyone. Her Majesty is hopeful that Meghan’s heritage may be

  Donald Trump was expected to issue an apology to Harvey Weinstein on behalf of the American people tonight, after the first sexual assault charge against the Hollywood producer was dismissed by a New York judge. An insider told The Bugle “The President feels very strongly that Mr Weinstein has been harshly treated, and that

  Following recent botched attempts to kill political opponents and dissidents, The Bugle understands that the Russian Intelligence agency is considering a complete change of tack. In future, targets will simply be mailed discount vouchers for their nearest Pret A Manger. “Let’s face it, we’re a laughing stock” said one government agent who asked not

The Metropolitan police’s acting chief attempted to prevent the terrorist murder of PC Keith Palmer in Westminster last March,  by locking himself in his car it has emerged. Sir Craig Mackey, said it was his instinct to get out of the car when he saw Khalid Masood launch his attack, but successfully fought the instinct and locked

  Manchester United manager Jose Mourinho was treated to a special ‘jazz hands’ sign of appreciation last night, as he left the field following his sides 0-0 draw with Valencia. The gesture is thought to be in support of Manchester University students who this week decided to substitute the gesture for clapping in order to

A Physicist has overcome the considerable handicap of being born without a penis to be awarded the Nobel Prize in Physics. Donna Strickland, from Canada, is only the third person without a penis to win the award in history, and the first in 55 years. A spokesperson for the awards committee told The Bugle, “Being born