As the longest period of drought since 1976 continued this week, Barnsley residents were forced to sacrifice their fortnightly shower. Showering in the borough moved to a fortnightly cycle from the traditional ‘Sunday Night Special’ in 1986 just after most of the pits closed and local sweat glands healed up. But now the prospect

  A Barnsley-based version of hit ITV2 show Love Island was dramatically cancelled last night after only one contestant turned up for filming. Producers had rented a swish two up two down terrace in upmarket Wombwell and kitted it out with all modern conveniences including a hot tub (pictured) and an indoor toilet. But excitement

  A massive security review was said to be under way this morning after the discovery of a book in the Love Island villa. A spokesperson for ITV confirmed the discovery of the book after a routine sweep of the property last night. “We’ve absolutely no idea how it got here.” he told us  “At

  President Macron of France has announced that the nation will celebrate victory in the World Cup in Russia yesterday with a co-ordinated day of industrial action. The date has yet to be set, but will be determined once the point of  maximum inconvenience for any  UK citizens daft enough to holiday in the country

  Renovation of Big Ben was set to move ahead of schedule this morning  as a massive bell end arrived from America. “This is great news said Ray Clapper who is heading up the renovation project, “We haven’t seen it yet but have been told it’s impossible to find a bigger bell end anywhere, so

With the emotions of last nights World Cup semi-final defeat still very raw, the nation was united in a single thought this morning…we’re really not in the mood for that orange twat. The visit of President Trump to the UK was always going to be controversial, but the disappointment over last nights World Cup exit

  Fans were distraught last night after it emerged that football will not be coming home after all. Hopes were high for football coming home after Saturday’s victory over Sweden, but the discovery of links to ISIS  has made a return extremely unlikely. A government spokesperson told The Bugle “I know fans are going to

A man who has never shown the remotest interest in football has amazed friends and workmates by apparently becoming an expert in set up formations. Giles Fairweather  from Wickersley has never played football and never even been to a live match, but thanks to England’s excellent performance in the World Cup, he now feels confident

  A Wimbledon Tennis crowd smells of a blend of middle class angst and prudent pension planning a new study has revealed. The revelation will come as a shock to those who had always followed the traditional line of thinking that it was a heady aromatic cocktail of old fart, Werther’s Originals and the John