Renovation of Big Ben was set to move ahead of schedule this morning  as a massive bell end arrived from America. “This is great news said Ray Clapper who is heading up the renovation project, “We haven’t seen it yet but have been told it’s impossible to find a bigger bell end anywhere, so

With the emotions of last nights World Cup semi-final defeat still very raw, the nation was united in a single thought this morning…we’re really not in the mood for that orange twat. The visit of President Trump to the UK was always going to be controversial, but the disappointment over last nights World Cup exit

  Fans were distraught last night after it emerged that football will not be coming home after all. Hopes were high for football coming home after Saturday’s victory over Sweden, but the discovery of links to ISIS  has made a return extremely unlikely. A government spokesperson told The Bugle “I know fans are going to

A man who has never shown the remotest interest in football has amazed friends and workmates by apparently becoming an expert in set up formations. Giles Fairweather  from Wickersley has never played football and never even been to a live match, but thanks to England’s excellent performance in the World Cup, he now feels confident

  A Wimbledon Tennis crowd smells of a blend of middle class angst and prudent pension planning a new study has revealed. The revelation will come as a shock to those who had always followed the traditional line of thinking that it was a heady aromatic cocktail of old fart, Werther’s Originals and the John

  A chance meeting between two old school friends led to panic and a mass evacuation of Rotherham town centre earlier this morning. Jehad Khan (27)  from Clifton says he was coming back from football training  when he heard his name being shouted from the other side of the All Saints Square. “I immediately recognised

  The search for someone who gives a shit about the split between Liam Paine and Cheryl Tweedy/Cole/Fernandez-Bastard-Vercini intensified this morning as it entered its second day. Specially trained  gutter journalists and volunteers from the general public have been scouring the universe to find anyone who gives a rats chuff. A fingertip search of the

A South Yorkshire judge took pity on a man found guilty of upskirting in Barnsley town centre this week, after it emerged that he is now suffering from post traumatic stress disorder,  and afraid to leave the house. Peter Lech (47) from Wombwell, was found guilty of the offence at Sheffield Crown Court last Wednesday, but his

It’s been a difficult couple of years  for ginger crooner Ed Sheeran. First he was sued for copyright infringement by the writers of a song called Amazing, and now the owners of copyright to Marvin Gaye’s Let’s Get It On  say they intend to sue for $100 million because they claim the star has also stolen

  The dangers of mispronunciation were brought into sharp focus this week with the release of a new report revealing that an Italian pensioner falls off a motor scooter every time someone says ‘Expresso’. The increase in motor scooter related injuries in Italy involving the over 65’s had been something of a mystery until the