A Rotherham dog is preparing himself to be blamed for the family flatulence, induced by this years festive fare. Bulldog Bruno, 8, says that he will be openly blamed for myriad noxious niffs on Christmas Day but says he’ll take it all in his stride “Part of being a dog innit?” he told our reporter

A Rotherham man was in big trouble this morning after eating food that was been saved for Christmas. Kenny Ball 37 from Wickersley, went out with his mates for a mad Friday drink and got the munchies when he arrived home at around midnight. “I went in the fridge and there was a lovely pork

Ryanair check-in staff become sexually aroused at the sight of an oversized or overweight bag a new study has revealed. Professor Rob Cash from the Institute of Applied Bolloxology, who headed up the study, says he’s unsure whether the job attracts people with such a pre-disposition, or whether it’s something that develops during training, but

A former Miss Barnsley is set  to play Santa Claus this Christmas after spending the last 10 days growing a beard. Hannah Woodcock from Wombwell, who won the prestigious crown in 2016, beating off  over 50 other local beauties, says she’s striking a blow for gender equality by taking on what has traditionally been a

The number of people intolerant to Christmas songs has reached worrying levels. That’s the conclusion of professor Nick Cash from the Department Of Applied Boloxoicoligy at south west Barnsley University. Citing just one example, Professor Cash says that the number in danger of slitting their wrists with their own car keys if they hear just

Brexiteers were calling for a second referendum this evening, after it emerged that UK citizens would have to purchase a seven euro visa to visit the EU after Brexit. “Its a disgrace,” said one Brexit voter who asked not to be named for fear of looking a cock. “It’s going to practically double the cost

Shop assistants up and down the country are reporting symptoms commensurate with post traumatic stress disorder following an aural assault that has seen some of them exposed to Mariah Carey’s All I Want For Christmas Is You, over 500 times in the lead up to the festive period.  The condition is more normally associated with

 There were suggestions that Brexit negotiating had descended into bullying this afternoon when EU chief negotiator Michel Barnier suggested that there may be something else on the table if Prime Minister May was prepared to “do her little dance again”. With the Brexit process stalled over the Irish backstop arrangement, Barnier at first appeared to

An enthusiastic campaigner against the commercialisation of Christmas has been exposed as ‘just a tight arsed twat’ by his wife. Ray Fox maintains that the true meaning of Christmas has been lost, and that he intends to make a stand this year by purchasing token gifts costing £5 or less. But wife Carol has cast

  A Barnsley woman who’s Instagram account is dedicated to displaying her ample buttocks in all their glory, says she intends to sue mobile phone service provider O2, after the companies service went down today and she missed an important posting slot. Kerry Cardash-Fan, 28,  from Wombwell says she was traumatised at lunchtime today when she