Celebrities trending on Twitter over the age of 40, may not actually be dead a new report has revealed. The report comes in the wake of clear evidence that young people automatically fear the worst when they see that a coffin dodger is unexpectedly trending on the popular social network. “Young people should keep a

A BMW driver wants a sodding medal or something after letting another car out at a junction, it has emerged. Andy Pratt, 42, from Rotherham was in a line of traffic when he spotted another BMW waiting to enter the stream from the left “Normally I’d have welded myself to the bumper of the car

Labour Leader Jeremy Corbyn was still in police custody this morning after being sensationally arrested last night after responding to ‘Johnson Out’ chants during his closing speech at the parties annual conference in Brighton. Mr Corbyn’s reaction to the chants – which can’t be described fully in a family newspaper – left delegates astonished, none

Barnsley residents received their most exciting news since the arrival of Dunkin’ Donuts in the town today, when it was announced that the borough’s glitterati are to star in a new ITV12 reality show, provisionally called The Only Way  Is Mabs. Mabs, or Mablethorpe as it’s more widely known, is a popular destination for the

A Bugle investigation has uncovered a secret Labour plan to abolish the role of party leader altogether. It comes just a couple of days after a similar move to remove deputy leader Tom Watson, by abolishing his role, was abandoned at the party conference. “That’s where we got the idea,” one of the dissident MP’s

A joke originally delivered by perenial TV favourite Ronnie Barker, is understood to be about to apply for a restraining order following the theft of a gold toilet from Blenheim palace this week. The joke, which cannot be told here for legal reasons, is understood to be distressed at being repeated by thousands of witless

Sexual activity in the workplace, or while on business, is now to be subject to a prior health and safety risk assessment, it has emerged. It follows a French court ruling in which an employee who had a heart attack and died during an en extra marital bunk-up while away on business, was deemed to

Fire chiefs have labelled Fireman Sam unrepresentative and have taken the decision to stop using him as a recruitment tool. It follows an investigation that has revealed that the popular cartoon character doesn’t use his sick days to run an ad hoc building firm, and isn’t shagging a close mates missus on the side while

There were raised eyebrows this morning as it was revealed that Theresa May has awarded a knighthood to Geoffrey Boycott in her resignation honours list. The outspoken Yorkshireman has a chequered history punctuated by controversial comments and a conviction for assaulting his girlfriend in 1998 in France. An insider close to the former Prime Minister

The new Downing Street dog is still living out of boxes, several days after moving into Number 10, it has been reported.  The dog took the decision to delay getting settled following a cursory appraisal of his new owners performance in parliament, and the general air of fuckwittery that pervades his very being. A spokesperson