Trump ups re-election ante with promise to fix San Andreas fault
2020-03-04
President Donald Trump threw the gauntlet down to his election rivals this afternoon, by pledging to fix the San Andreas fault.
Speaking at a packed campaign rally somewhere where bib and brace overalls are considered to be formalwear, the President said “For too long now, this great country of ours has accepted imperfection – second best. Well let me tell you now that I am bigly determined that will stop. President after president has known about this here fault and done nothing about it. Not this one. I’m sending a team out there to whereever the hell it is with an open cheque book and a list of all my best contacts in the Tarmacadam business.”
The Bugle understands that Mr Trump expected the job to take at least 6 weeks and work on drawing white circles around the worst bits has already started.
