Queen disappointed after opening pumping station designed to get rid of local shite and finding Prince Andrew still camped out in spare room
2020-02-06
The Queen was looking distinctly cheesed off this afternoon after officially opening a new pumping station near Sandringham. The station has been developed to get rid of all the unwanted shite from the area, but early reports suggest it has done nothing to shift Prince Andrew. When the Queen returned to Sandringham House, she was reportedly ‘f****d right off’ to find The Duke Of York still holed up in the spare room.
“Her Majesty had high hopes that ‘The Pizza Express King’, as she’s come to refer to him, would be pumped away with all the other superfluous effluent.” a Royal insider told The Bugle “But he’s just hanging around, literally like a bad smell. We don’t know what she might try next, but it’s a worry.”
Regular readers will know that The Queen is not to be messed with, having recently challenged Meghan to a straightener in the place car park following the announcement of plans for her and Harry to move to Canada. “Andrew needs to shape up or ship out” our Insider revealed. “There’s till a lot of boggy land around Sandringham. A body could lay there undiscovered for decades.”
