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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-05-09

Middle-Aged Man Planning To Get Through Carol Kirkwood Weather Forecast Without Thinking About Her Tits


A middle-aged man from Rotherham has announced ambitious plans to watch an entire Carol Kirkwood weather forecast without thinking about her tits, it has been revealed.

 Like a lot of other men over a certain age, Ken Cocker 56, has never heard a word of the BBC weather presenters forecasts, and instead finds himself drifting off into a day dream of his own making the moment she comes on screen. But now he’s decided enough is enough.

“I’ve been watching her for years,” said a frustrated Ken as we caught up with him training for the big event by trying to keep eye contact with himself in a mirror. “I didn’t even realise she was Scottish until last week, so you can imagine how much of the forecast I pick up. It’s got to stop.”

Ken’s wife Karen is supporting him in his quest but says it’s going to be tough. “Ken has always been a tit man, she told The Bugle “In fact he didn’t recognise me on our second date because I was wearing a different top. But this is affecting our lives now. Just last week I went out without a brolly because Ken said it wasn’t going to rain, and I had to borrow a dinghy to get home.”

The Bugle understands that there are encouraging signs from early training sessions and Ken has already established that Carol has blonde hair.

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