Barnsley Voters Face Agonising Choice Between Dislike Of Foreigners And Hatred Of The Rich
2019-11-05
Voters in the traditional Labour stronghold of Barnsley face an agonising choice in the upcoming General Election as they attempt to balance off their acute dislike of foreigners with their inherent hatred of anyone with money. It’s a dilemma which is causing mental torment throughout the community.
“On the one hand I want to leave the European Union and send as many foreign types home as possible.” one local man who asked not to be named told us. “Boris is the best man for that. But on the other hand, I want to drag all the rich twats down to my level, and that’s the reason Jeremy gets up in a morning.” he said.
The feeling locally is that if Labour get in, any pleasure from dragging the wealthy into the gutter will be tempered by having to stand in the queue in Lidl between a Bulgarian and a Pole. And if the Conservatives are successful, there will be less Bulgarians and Poles, but more smug bastards driving past Lidl to Waitrose in Range Rovers.
“In the end, I think you just have to go with your gut and decide who you hate most.” another local man told us. “I think we’re all agreed on rich foreigners though.”
