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2024-05-08

Sheffield Office Worker Now Trying To Pretend He Likes Football


A man who has never shown any interest in Football  is now trying to convince his workmates that he likes it, it has emerged.

Giles Fairweather from Sheffield has never played football and never even been to a live match, but thanks to Sheffield United’s promotion to the Premiership and four English teams reaching European finals, he is now trying to talk tactics around the office water cooler with colleagues.

“What a tool.”  said Lee Dimon  who works with Giles “Two weeks ago he was talking about someone ‘kicking a goal’ but now all of a sudden he’s postulating on the wisdom of playing James Milner in a diamond. I blame Alan Shearer. It’s embarrassing. For a laugh we asked him if he thought United  should deploy the starfish. He looked panicked for a second and then said ‘only if David Beckham plays’. It’s just pathetic”

Giles was unrepentant when we caught up with him as he scoured a thread on Mumsnet explaining the offside rule. “It’s good to be involved in the footie bants with the chaps at work.” he said “They’re always discussing it on a Monday morning and I can’t join in. I think they’ve accepted me into their group now that I know all about it.”

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