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2024-05-09

Relief As Earth Tremor Near Fracking Site Attributed To Some ‘Big Units’ From Barnsley


 

There was widespread relief at  Cuadrilla this evening after it emerged that an earth tremor at the companies drilling site at Little Plumpton in Lancashire, probably wasn’t caused by fracking after all.

The Bugle understands that an investigation team from the Oil and Gas Authority has linked  the tremor with the arrival in the area of a coach carrying a thirty strong hen party from Barnsley to Blackpool.

Our reporter has seen a statement from the coach driver, also from the Barnsley area, which a member of our staff who speaks fluent Dingle, has translated into English. “We were on the Preston by-pass when the lasses said they were dying for a piss. It took me a while to find some bushes by which time, they were fit to bust. As soon as I stopped, they all jumped off at once and I felt the bus rock. There’s some big units there, I can tell you. I thought nowt more about it until I heard about this earthquake. That’s when I contacted the authorities.”

As we went to press, a further small tremor had been detected in the area, and was being inked with the return journey across the Pennines

 

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