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2024-05-19

Keyboard Warrior Keith Is Hard As Nails


An Internet tough guy is as hard as nails in real life it has emerged.

Unemployed Keith Legend spends most of his days scouring Internet forums looking for people to pick fights with on a broad range of topics. When we visited him in his council flat in Wath he was engaged in a furious row  on Mumsnet about the right way to toilet train a toddler, that had degenerated into gratuitous abuse. “That bitch got what was coming to her” said 48 year old bachelor Keith, who has a number of Usernames including Wolfman, Terminator and The Enforcer. “I don’t let anyone get away with anything, and I’m the same in real life. If I hear something I don’t like on the bus, in the pub or just on the street, I wade right in and give them what for. Nobody messes with me.”

We spoke to next door neighbour Ray Shiner who lives in the adjacent flat, and a confused picture emerged “Keith rarely leaves the flat,” he told us, “other than to go to the newsagents to buy fags. The walls are thin and I can hear what’s going on in there. There’s lots of furious key tapping, and then I hear him yelling, ‘Get In!’ ‘Burn!’ and ‘One nill to the Keithster!” stuff like that. Occasionally there’s a lull, it all goes quiet and then there’s a low groaning sound, and then it all goes quiet again. He’s an odd chap.”

When we visited Keith’s local pub, landlord Eric Merrick laughed when we told him about Keith’s fearsome reputation. “He comes in here every now and then, and just sits in that corner over there with a half, minding his own business. Never makes eye contact with anyone. Last week he left without finishing his beer when two young lasses started taking the piss out of his comb over.”

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