Millers To Become The New Harlem Globetrotters?
2016-11-21
Following the Millers dismal start to the season, garnering just 7 points from 17 games, many fans have given up hope of avoiding relegation with over 5 months of the season still to go. The club have recognised this and are exploring options for making visits to the New York stadium more interesting and appealing within the restrictions imposed by having a team which can’t actually play.
A proposal that the entire side turn out in Miller Bear outfits for the televised Leeds United game has been rejected by the football league, as has a request to play the theme music from Benny Hill whenever the opposition enter the Millers penalty area. A more mainstream suggestion that a goalie wag system is employed, was briefly considered before someone pointed out that this has already been tried in the last two home games, albeit in the last few minutes when most supporters were already in their cars on the way home.
The final proposal under serious consideration is to turn the 2016-17 team into a latter day footballing version of the Harlem Globetrotters. A club insider told us that they have earmarked Greg Halford for the Meadowlark Lemon role. Instead of drying the ball off when the team win a throw in, he will hide it up his shirt and feign bemusement while distracting the referee from seeing Danny Ward score with a second ball. The other key character required is a little bald bloke who can dribble the ball around in circles to no obvious advantage. The club insider we spoke to told us that Jon Taylor seems ideally suited to this role after a trip to the barbers. New York New York has already been taken off the club PA system and replaced with Sweet Georgia Brown.
The club insider, who doesn’t want to be named to avoid embarrassment, because his family think he works in a strip club, told us “This seems like a brilliant plan. Not only will it have the crowd laughing, but the Globetrotters always win as well. So it’s double bubble.”
