A bell-end who has never shown the remotest interest in football has amazed friends and workmates by apparently becoming an expert in set up formations. Giles Band-Wagon  from London has never played football and never even been to a live match, but thanks to England’s excellent performance in the Euros against Germany, he now feels

The Duke and Duchess of Cambridge have upped the ante in their ongoing spat with The Duke and Duchess of Sussex by renaming their daughter Charlotte, Princess Cabbage. The  move follows the controversial decision by Harry and Meghan to name their new daughter Lilibet, a pet name the Queen has had since childhood. It is

A clearly furious Queen Elizabeth II has challenged Meghan Markel to a straightner in the palace car park it has emerged. The unprecedented move comes at the end of a week when Meghan and husband Harry gave an interview to an Ian Wright look-alike, in which they accused members of the royal household of racism

A Rotherham man was steeling himself for a fortnight of misery this morning after it emerged that the perforations on a newly-opened toilet roll have not been machined correctly. The man who has asked not to be named for spurious reasons, opened the roll of Lidl Soft and Sensitive at 8.00am this morning, anticipating a

With Coronavirus cases continuing to rise at an alarming rate in some parts of the country, The Bugle understands that Prime Minister Boris Johnson is set to scrap the current ‘Hands-Face Space’ slogan and replace it with ‘Hold Your Breath To Save The NHS’. A government insider, speaking off the record, told our reporter “We

A man who refers to his mid-life crisis two seater sports car as ‘she’ is a complete dick it has been revealed. Terry Towling, who has also been known to use the term ‘the old girl’ and to refer to his collection of cars – comprising a Mazda MX5 and a Ford Focus – as

The scientific community was thrown into turmoil this morning after it emerged that the nations number one expert on vaccine safety is BeerMonster1984, a Twitter user from Bolton. BeerMonster1984 has made clear that he will not be having the new Pfizer Coronavirus virus because “It’s not safe and they’re just using it to control us.”

A British firm saw they have developed a vaccine which they claim to be “110% effective against  Covid 19.”  The announcement comes hot on the heels of announcements by American pharmaceutical giants Pfizer and Moderna that they have developed vaccines that are over 90% effective. “Mon dieu, ninety per cent is a bit poor” said

The County Durham town of Barnard Castle was gearing up for a new influx of visitors this morning as a second English lockdown was announced. Local officials say they have had notification that the town will once again be exempt from restrictions, and be the government recommended stop off point for anyone wanting to test

Chaka Khan was thrust back into the spotlight this week after reneging on her previous claims, and denying that she is, in any way, Katie Hopkins. Fans of popular music will be well-aware that back in the early 1990’s Khan made a big fuss about being ‘Every Woman’, but now says she’s changed her mind.