Fears Grow For Duke Of Edinburgh As Encounter With Filipino Nurse Passes Without Incident
2018-04-04
Fears were growing for The Duke of Edinburgh tonight, after an encounter with a nurse of oriental descent, passed without any incident or comment. The 96 year old Duke is spending the night in the King Edward VII private hospital in central London following hip replacement surgery. The operation was thought to have gone well, but when a Filipino nurse entered the Duke’s room this evening, and left without him making any reference to slanty eyes, dog stew or Ladyboys, medics started to fear the worst.
“It’s very worrying, ” confided a palace insider, ” we’ve never seen him like this. He just smiled and thanked her for her help. They sent a Nigerian cleaner and a fat bald physiotherapist in next as a test, but still nothing. He was just polite and cooperative. We’re hoping it’s the after-effects of the anaesthetic. They’re going to try him with a bearded Muslim in the morning. We’re keeping our fingers crossed. A casual reference to terrorism or suicide bombers will put everyone’s mind at rest.”
The Bugle understands that the Queen is being kept abreast of developments, and may even get off her arse and visit the Duke if he’s still in at Christmas.
