Jeremy Corbyn today promised that a future Labour government would grant a whole raft of new bank holidays, in an attempt to corner the idle bastard vote. In addition to new holidays to mark the saint’s days of England, Scotland, Ireland and Wales, atheist Corbyn has revealed that he also intends to introduce several

Jeremy Corbyn  was said to be jubilant this morning after it was announced that the Duchess Of Cambridge is now in Labour.  Mr Corbyn, who was only half listening to the news while attempting to co-ordinate a tie with his new beige anorak said, “This is a breakthrough development for the party. I knew one