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2024-05-20

‘Barnsley Bush’ to replace Brazilian as beauty salon shutdown hits hard


The full implications of the beauty salon shutdown started to emerge today, as trend gurus predicted that the much maligned ‘Barnsley Bush’ is set to become the style of choice for ladies throughout the UK.

For many years, ‘less is more’ has been the order of the day with respect to downstairs topiary – a style typified by the ubiquitous Brazilian. But with beauty emporia being forced to close for business, fashionistas are predicting a return to a style not seen outside the south Yorkshire town of Barnsley since the late 1970’s.

“The Barnsley Bush never went away, it just stayed in Barnsley” said Jean De’Tospo, who writes a weekly column for style magazine Landing Strip. “But with restricted access to depilatory assistance at the professional level, I’m predicting a return to the more free-flowing style which your Barnsley lasses have sported all along.”

Tracey Clunge from Wombwell, near Barnsley, appeared confused when asked how the shut down would affect her beauty regime. “It’ll make no difference to me,” she said “I’ll just scrape it up into a bun and then take the shears to it when I can’t get my knickers on, like always”



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