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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-05-20

Barnsley man self-identifies as female after discovering women 50% more like to survive Covid-19


A Barnsley man has announced that he now self-identifies as female after figures were released suggesting that women are 50% more likely to survive the Covid-19 strain of Coronavirus than men.

Sid Postlethwaite, 68,  a keen pigeon fancier and whippet breeder from Wombwell says that he now wishes to be known as Mavis and has already made an application to join the local WI. “It just seems sensible” Mavis told our reporter, speaking through a Dingle interpreter. “I like a bet and so I know a bit about odds. If I can double my chances of surviving, by self-identifying as a lass, why not? Looking at the state of some of ‘em in our local club, I think I’ll fit right in.”

Mavis says the one thing she’ll miss in the gents toilet “You don’t get that unique aroma in the ladies” he said “and the queuing up is a bastard. “But at least you come out with dry shoes.”

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