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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-05-08

Virus panic spreads as Primark warn they may run out of shit T Shirts


The panic over the Coronavirus stepped up a gear this morning with the news that Primark has warned they might run out of cheap tat. The popular retailer gets much of its stock from China and warns that restrictions placed on factories in the far east are bound to take their toll in the coming weeks.

“It’s not just shit T shirts.” a company spokesperson told The Bugle. “Our Barnsley store is already running low on crappy pyjamas and fluffy dressing gowns which is causing concern amongst local women on the school run. I don’t think people realise the knock-on effect of all this. We’ve had unconfirmed reports that some women in Sheffield have had to go out in the same outfit twice.”

In related news, as the virus continued to spread in Italy, Italian furniture manufacturers have extended their lead time on  orders placed from the UK from three years to never.

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