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2024-05-20

Trump unveils plans to reduce Greta Thunberg’s emissions to zero by 2021


American President Donald Trump has unveiled ambitious plans to reduce Greta Thunberg’s emissions to zero by 2021 at the latest. Emissions from the 17 year-old climate change activist have increased alarmingly  over the past 12 months but sources close to Mr Trump say that he is determined to meet the 2021 zero emissions target he’s set for himself,  and maybe even exceed it.

“It really depends if Walmart have the right gaffer tape in stock, and then how quickly we can get it in place.” an insider revealed. “The President had considered neutralising or offsetting Greta’s emissions with rational debate and logic but it was decided very early on that this wasn’t a practical solution to what has become a very real problem. We’re looking at the direct approach now.”

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