The Rotherham Bugle

A petition launched to award Michelin Star status to a branch of Greggs in Barnsley town centre, has already attracted 27 signatures and over ten thousand X’s, it has emerged.

The town doesn’t currently host any eateries recognised by the Michelin organisation and Greggs is seen as the height of haute cuisine, for locals. The town centre Greggs is a magnet for enthusiastic gastronomes, and a popular destination for birthday celebrations, special anniversaries and weddings for the great and good  throughout the borough.

Thanks to the wonders of modern technology and Google translate, we were able to speak to Sid Bland from the local council, who organised the campaign “The pasties, in their many guises, are a delight to ones palate” he told The Bugle “and the sausage rolls are beyond divine. Whilst I have never visited a restaurant outside of our great town, I cannot imagine there is finer fare to be enjoyed anywhere in the land.” We’ve transcribed the untranslated version at the end of this article for the benefit of Barnsley readers.

The Bugle understands that there are plans afoot to launch a similar campaign in support of a local Wetherspoons where it’s possible to have selected dishes microwaved at your table.

Nobody from Michelin Guide was available for comment.

Sid Bland’s original comments for Barnsley readers…

“Al’t’ pasties are reight nice, an’t’ sausage rooels a’ luvly. A dunt eyt anyweer else but I dunt reckon thad ger owt better ner matter weer tha guz.”