Fans Rally As Neeson Confirms He’s Happy To Murder Random Stranger of Any Colour
2019-02-06
Actor Liam Neeson went some way to redeeming himself last night when he explained that he would go out and murder any complete stranger with similar skin tones to someone else, no matter whether they were a black bastard a brown bastard a slanty eyed bastard or even a white bastard. “It’s just if they’re a bastard,” he told an interviewer on American TV. “As long as some randomer is the same colour as that bastard, they’re getting it. I’m not racist.”
A fan with thinking issues told The Bugle “At first I was appalled, but now I know he would like to murder any random stranger who matches the ethnic background of someone who’s pissed him off, I feel a lot better about it. I’m relieved to learn that his decisions on who to murder in cold blood, have no nasty racist undertones. I’ll probably go and see his new film now.”
As the Bugle went to press the hole Neeson has dug could clearly be seen from jets at cruising altitude.
