Dead Horse Applies For Restraining Order
2019-01-21
A dead horse has applied for a restraining order against Prime Minister Theresa May. Documents seen by The Bugle, claim Mrs May has been flogging the horse for several weeks now, despite most independent observers being convinced it was well and truly dead. The order seeks to prevent Mrs May from approaching the horse again.
“Enough is enough” said the horse as we caught up with it as it displayed all the characteristics of something that has long since expired. “ Dead horses have rights too. It’s too late for me, but I’m standing up for dead horses everywhere. This needs to stop now.”
As The Bugle went to press, Mrs May could clearly be seen still flogging the horse while yelling “Get up and run you bastard. There’s nothing wrong with you.”
