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2024-05-20

We Should Have Just Petrol-Bombed The Champs Elysees Instead, Says Farage


Former UKIP leader Nigel Farage has once again criticised Theresa May’s ‘pathetic’ negotiating skills over Brexit today, saying that the French people have shown how it should be done.
Speaking at the opening of a state-of-the-art refugee dip near Dover, Mr Farage said that Mrs May’s negotiating stance was far too weak. “We’d have got a much better deal by petrol bombing the Champs Elysees and smashing up a few statues.“ he told The Bugle. “That’s what the French fuel tax protesters did and they got what they wanted. What you have to remember is that the French will always surrender at the first sign they might get their baguette bent out of shape. They don’t like it up ‘em you know, and we should be capitalising on that.”
As the Bugle went to press, Mrs May was embarking on a campaign to get her deal accepted by the House Of Commons, while Mr Farage was pricing up a job lot of empty milk bottles and some rags.

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