Trump Cancels Armistice Event Over Fears For Barnet
2018-11-11
President Trump cancelled an Armistice day event in Paris yesterday over fears that his carefully constructed bouffant might collapse in the rain. The president, who avoided military service because he had a bone in his foot, was due to lay a wreath at a cemetery for fallen American soldiers, but a sharp shower forced him to change his plans.
“He would have ended up looking a right Dick.” said a White House spokesperson. “Not only could his barnet have gone south but the fake tan could have gone with it. He could very well have wound up looking like a badly abused hairy pumpkin two weeks after Halloween. We had no choice but to cancel.”
Despite extensive research the Bugle has been unable to find an example of any soldier – American or otherwise – refusing to fight because it was raining.
