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2024-05-20

Delight In Hollywood As Damian Lewis Tipped To Become First Openly Ginger James Bond


 

Tinseltown was celebrating last night after it was rumoured that Damian Lewis is set to become the first openly ginger James Bond.

“This is a massive breakthrough,” said Tom Redhead from Ginger Mingers, an organisation set up to promote equal rights for gingers in cinema, theatre and the arts. “Who would have thought just a few years ago that an openly ginger man would be considered for the roll of James Bond? It shows how far we’ve come in a short time.”

Not everyone is happy with the move though. “This just isn’t true to the original Ian Fleming stories.” said Ted Rogers from the Bond Appreciation Society. “Bond was never meant to be a ginger. He operates in the tropics for Christ sake. What’s he going to do when the sun comes out – smother himself in Factor 50 and put on a big floppy hat? He’ll look a complete twat.”

As The Bugle went to press, rumours that David Dickenson is set to become the first black James Bond, were being hotly denied by the producers.

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