Ed Sheeran Placed Under House Arrest As Temperatures Soar
2018-06-26
Ed Sheeran and other prominent gingers like Prince Harry, Rupert Grint and Mario Baliotelli have been placed under emergency curfew this week after the sun came out and temperatures soared into the mid 20’s.
A spokesperson for the Health & Safety executive told The Bugle, “We’re advising everyone to stay indoors during the hours of daylight and to wear a hat just to be on the safe side. With Ed, we’ve placed him under house arrest and recommend that he hides under the stairs and doesn’t even answer the door. If he does, he will almost certainly die or something.”
“It’s really lucky we have the government in place to tell us what to do when the weather changes,” a ginger who didn’t want to be named told The Bugle, “Otherwise how would we know what to do when we are a bit warm? Our ancestors weren’t so fortunate and look at them now – they’re all dead.”
