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The Rotherham Bugle

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2026-03-12

Page 68

Rotherham Council To Tackle Celebrity Shortage

An appeal has gone out to find celebrities in the Rotherham area after it emerged that the only famous people from the town are either The Chuckle Brothers or dead. Karen Young from Rotherham Borough  Council  Cultural Affairs Department says she’s done some research and drawn a blank. “There’s that bloke out of Life On

Early Christmas Decorators Need A Good Kicking Says Top Academic

People who put up their Christmas decorations early need a good kicking it has emerged. Scientists from the University of West Mexborough have identified a direct correlation between people who put their Christmas decorations up before the beginning of December and complete and utter bell-ends. “We fully expected to find some kind of correlation with

New Research Reveals Surprising Secret Of Sexual Attraction

Researchers  at the University Of East Mexborough have made a major breakthrough in identifying a previously undiscovered x-factor in the science of physical attraction. And it’s all to do with the  humble internal combustion engine. Professor Hans Alova  who headed up the year long study in Rotherham town centre concluded that young women are attracted

Rotherham Speed Reduction Scheme Hailed Major Success As Drivers Face Choice Between Speeding And Keeping Vital Internal Organs

  A traffic calming scheme trialed in Rotherham looks set to be rolled out across the country after significantly reducing the average driving speed in the town. The scheme was the brainchild of Tony Todger from Rotherham Borough Council, who perhaps surprisingly, has no official role in the road safety department. “I like to think

Herringthorpe Pensioner Forced To House Refugees

When Doris Evans (85) from Herringthorpe left home to play Bingo last month, she didn’t quite get the full house she was hoping for. She came away from her weekly trip to Gala Bingo in Dalton empty handed, but arrived home to find six  Somalian refugees sitting on her sofa. Doris, who lost her husband

Rotherham Fish & Chip Shops To Be Closed At Weekends

Following Jamie Oliver basing his healthy eating campaign in Rotherham a few years ago, it’s perhaps no surprise that the town is taking the lead in a new initiative to tackle the obesity crisis. From next month, Rotherham Council have announced that all Fish and Chip shops in the borough will be compulsorily closed between

Useless Local Council Worker Gets Away With It By Flirting

A useless Rotherham borough council office worker says she is able to compensate for her incompetence and general sloth by being  mildly  flirtatious. Natasha Richards, 28, who scrubs up reasonably well, admits that she does a piss  poor job, but survives  by cultivating an atmosphere of ill defined sexual tension in the workplace. “I can

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