The Rotherham Bugle

With news this week that the controversial video assistant referee system (VAR) is to be used in this summers  football World Cup in Russia, there have been calls from women everywhere for the technology to be rolled out into the domestic bedroom arena.

“We’re seeing a spate of unpunished infringements in and around the box.” said one woman who asked not to be named. “I blame the internet. The VAR will settle the argument once and for all and we might even make a few quid off the footage.”

A spokesman for men everywhere was sceptical about the technology. “We’ve never had it before and I don’t see the need now .” he said “These so-called unpunished infringements are few and far between and completely accidental for the most part. Who hasn’t taken the wrong exit off a tight roundabout? And it’s a two way street anyway. I’ll never be able to show my face in A&E again, and not just my face. Using VAR is just going to slow everything up which is going to lead to injuries and a drop off in  performance all round. I think we’re going to be seeing a lot of blokes limping off.”

The Bugle will be following this developing story with interest.