Sheffield Woman Breaks Ranks And Admits Prosecco Tastes Like Fizzy Witch Piss
2018-03-05
The appeal of Prosecco to the MILF community has been a mystery to right-thinking men for years, but now a local thirty-something woman has broken ranks to reveal the truth – that the budget wine is a vile aspirational concoction, tasting primarily of chilled fizzy witch piss.
“I’ve no idea why we all drink it when we go on a girls night out said Susie Scrubsup-Well from Fulwood while sipping a large Gin and Tonic because her husband was paying. I think it’s because it’s something we can all afford, which doesn’t make us look like skanks from Pitsmoor. But it’s shit, it really is.”
The owner of a local wine bar who asked not to be named for obvious reasons agrees “I can’t believe they buy this muck.” he laughed “it costs me about a quid a gallon and I knock it out at a huge mark up and they think they’re getting sophistication on the cheap. Everyone’s a winner.”
Not everyone has been taken in by the Prosecco hype though. Bugle Investigations in Barnsley reveal that a girl’s night out there is still characterised by several pints of Lambrini with White Lightening chasers followed by a knee trembler round the back of Wetherspoons with a bodybuilder from Royston.
