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Disappointment As Trump Cancels February Visit To UK

There was a palpable sense of disappointment this morning as Donald Trump announced he was cancelling his planned visit to the UK in February.

The president was due to come to the UK to open the new American embassy, which has been purpose built on the banks of the Thames near Battersea at a cost of around one billion dollars. The official reason given for the cancellation is Trump’s disagreement with the decision to position the embassy in a non-prime area of London, or ‘shithole’ as he is understood to have described it.

However, the Bugle understands that the president is reluctant to leave the White House for an extended period of time for fear of Barrack Obama moving back in his absence. Trump is understood to believe that Obama is still holed up somewhere in the White House grounds using skills learned from Bear Grylls while making the Running Wild TV programme.

There’s also some concern that the president will not be allowed re-entry into the U.S under his own unofficial guidelines regarding people of colour. Steps have now been taken to make a special exemption for orange, but this has yet to be ratified.

Some groups are thought to be more severely affected by the decision than others. The cancellation is particularly bad news for local tanning salons, prostitutes and makers of over-sized placards in the shape of female genitalia.

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