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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-04-27

Well Off Rotherham Residents Call For Bin Size To Be Linked To Income


Rotherham Borough Councils plan to revamp the towns refuse collection service has come under attack from wealthy residents. The plans, which are still in the consultative phase include extra recycling responsibilities for householders and a 25% reduction in the size of the general waste bin. But residents in upmarket Wickersley say that while the plans seem perfectly reasonable for people on low incomes, they don’t take proper account of the needs of folk who have  more money than they know what to do with.

Paul Shylock from Wood Lane was typical of many we spoke to in the posh bit around Wickersley Woods. “It’s alright for people who haven’t got two pennies to scratch their arse with,” he told us “because they’re used to ferreting around in muck and can’t afford to buy enough stuff to chuck away anyway. Their bins are never full. But I’m absolutely minted and buy shitloads of stuff from John Lewis and that, which comes all nicely wrapped in bulky packaging, I barely have time to open all the packages up, let alone sort all the rubbish into different piles. My bin is filled up within a couple of days, and that’s before I’ve lobbed the stuff I bought last week which I’ve already got bored with. I know it could go to the charity shop, but they smell of old clothes and who the hell can be arsed with that?”

Mr Shylock is calling for bin size to be linked to household income or bank balance. “It makes perfect sense.” he told us “The more money you’ve got, the more shit you can buy, and the more crap you need to get rid of. It’s simple maths. And us rich folk in big houses pay more rates as well, so it’s all  perfectly fair.”

Ron Redman, Waste Materials Co-Ordinator Rotherham Borough Council gave a furious response when we told him of Mr Shylock’s comments. “These tossers need to get into the real world “ he said. “I told one of them last week that she could use her Range Rover to take her extra rubbish to the tip. She just laughed and said she’d just had it valeted and didn’t even know how to get into the boot.”

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