Drivers are being warned to expect severe delays at petrol stations throughout the country today, as millions of men who have forgotten what day it is, desperately scrap over anything that still has a few petals left. The owner of a Shell station near Rotherham told The Bugle “It’s the same every year, and it’s

  The evolution of home cinema took a  leap forward this week with the release of a new system package which takes realism to a whole new level. We’ve all become accustomed to home cinema, which faithfully replicates the video and audio quality of a real-life cinema experience, but the new system, from ActualReality Ltd,

A Rotherham woman was left disappointed this afternoon after shopping for a Valentines card, but failing to find one with a message which truly reflects the way she really feels about her husband Mandy Pumps, 47, from Rawmarsh says she was looking for a card that conveyed a combination of contempt and apathy mixed with periodic

An American footballer says that he blames God for his teams defeat at the hands of the Philadelphia Eagles in last weekends Super Bowl. Ivor Helmet, a tight buttock for the New England Patriots,  had previously thanked God after victories that had seen the team reach the final, but gave a damning appraisal of the

  The value of Bitcoin continued to plummet this week as investors in the Cryptocurrency stared into their bathroom mirrors and saw a greed-fueled idiot for the first time. Experts predict that if the fall in value continues at the same rate, it will reach parity with that other trusted store of value, the milk

Temperatures hit the headlines again this week as it got a bit colder. It’s a phenomenon that has been baffling idiots and dipshits alike, but now an expert has come forward to cast some light on the apparent mystery. “It may be controversial, but I think it’s got something to do with it being winter.

Reality star Kylie Jenner has announced via social media that she has given birth to a pension. The 20 year old who is somehow related to the arse on legs Kim Kardashian, and some bloke who used to do the Deacthlon but is now a woman, gave birth to the pension at the weekend. As

  Californian police yesterday announced that  veteran actor Robert Wagner is a ‘person of interest’ in the ongoing investigation into the death of his ex-wife Natalie Wood in 1981. Ms Wood died in what was thought at the time to be a  drink-fueled boating accident, but mystery and speculation has surrounded the circumstances of her

  Politically correct po-faced tossers have confirmed that they are well on course for achieving their target of totally eradicating fun by 2025. The confirmation comes as Formula One bosses announced that they would not be using ‘Grid Girls’ as part of the entertainment package in 2018. This follows hot on the heels of a

Racists and the hard of thinking were united in outrage this morning, after an image of an Easter egg for Ramadan appeared on the internet. Ray Challis spoke for  a lot of people who had never heard of Photoshop when we caught up with him as he picked up his copy of the Dailty Mail.