Temperatures hit the headlines again this week as it got a bit colder. It’s a phenomenon that has been baffling idiots and dipshits alike, but now an expert has come forward to cast some light on the apparent mystery.
“It may be controversial, but I think it’s got something to do with it being winter. “ said Professor Andy Mann from The Rotherham West Institute Of Climate Studies. “Winter is caused at this time of year, by the axis of the Earth in the northern hemisphere being oriented away from the Sun. That makes it colder. If my theory is right, when summer comes and the axis is pointed more towards the sun, it will get warmer again.”
Professor Mann’s theory is backed up by the fact that the same twatting thing has happened every year since, like, for ever. “You’d think that if something happened every year without fail, that it would pass without comment, rather than making headline news.” he told us “but I suppose you could say the same thing about Arsenal having a disappointing season or Katie Price changing her mind about what size tits she wants.”