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The Rotherham Bugle

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2018-01-22

British Army Goes Into Competition With Navy Over Homosexual Market


As any fan of The Village People will know, the traditional destination for anyone of an unconventional sexual orientation keen to kill or maim some foreigners, is the Navy. But now the British Army have launched a new advertising campaign that they hope will appeal to the type of  men likely to find themselves at a Kylie Minogue concert, purely for the outfits.

“The Navy have had their own way on this for too long “ said Brigadier Charles Ponsomby-Smythe, head of recruitment at the British Army.  “and so we’ve developed this new campaign to  assure anyone batting for the other side, that they will encounter no  discrimination of any kind in the British Army. Shirt lifters have been subject to verbal abuse and ridicule for far too long in the army,  and it will no longer be tolerated.”

The Bugle understands that a Lisa Minnelli themed recruitment evening is planned for February, at which prospective recruits will be encouraged to turn up dressed as a character from their favourite musical. “We want everyone to feel comfortable and included” said the Brigadier, who revealed that he already has his outfit planned for the evening and will be going as chief  NAZI  SS officer Von Strudle from The Sound Of Music.

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