MENSA, the high IQ society, confirmed this afternoon that they have no record of an application from Donald Trump. Trump declared himself a ‘stable genius’ yesterday in response to comments from a number of sources questioning his intelligence and mental state.
“No, we’ve heard nothing at all from the orange twat” said Deirdre Bright, the society spokesperson “Maybe his application got lost in the post, or maybe he’s talking through his rectum as usual.”
Trump doesn’t appear to conform to the conventional image of a genius, in that his every utterance adds weight to the impression that he’s as thick as pig shit. Professor Miles Anowa, head of intelligence studies at west Rawmarsh University suggests that despite this, Trump may indeed be a genius of sorts.
“Genius takes many forms” he told us “Anyone who can make a complete knob of himself, in the way Trump continues to do, ” and still get voted into the most powerful job in the world – and then keep it – has to be working on a level that even conventional ultra high intelligence individuals can’t comprehend. Can you explain it? I can’t. “
The Bugle attempted to get a perspective from a real life conventional genius, Professor Stephen Hawking. A spokesperson confirmed that he had been working on the problem for some time, and although he had been able to provide a compelling theory for the beginning of the universe, he had been powerless to provide any kind of explanation for why the combed over cockwomble hasn’t been laughed out of office.