A Rotherham woman, who has asked not to be named, required emergency treatment for shock this afternoon, after a passenger in her shitty 2004 hatchback told her that the right hand lane of a dual carriageway is for overtaking other cars that are going slower than yours. Louise Dixon, 28 from Bramley is expected to make a full recovery after staff at Rotherham District General Hospital sent her home with some Valium and a copy of the Highway Code.
Until Tuesday, Ms Dixon was under the impression that the outside lane of an urban dual carriageway is for any car to travel in, no matter how slowly, provided the driver intends turning right somewhere in the next ten bastard miles. “I like to get in the right hand lane about 3 miles from home to save having to change lane again, which I find quite challenging” she told us “I’ve often absent-mindedly wondered why there was half a mile of traffic behind me with ‘knob heads’ undertaking and flagging me off right left and centre, but thought nothing more of it. This has come as a real shock.”
Ms Dixon says she now intends using the lanes for their intended purpose, just as soon as she has learned to use her mirrors and indicators. “I think there’s a valuable lesson here for both women and old men in flat hats,” she told us. “I want to spread the word.”