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Online Shopper Can’t Even Be Arsed To Answer The Door

A Bramley man who orders his supermarket shopping online says he can no longer be bothered to answer the door. Terry Thomas,  48, says that while ordering groceries online seemed like a luxury at first, nowadays it just pisses him off that he has to go to the door and  take the bags off the delivery driver.

“I used to do my shopping at Morrisons and it took ages to park up, find all your stuff, pay for it, pack it into the car and drive home again” he said “so when I started getting it delivered it was great. But now I’ve plunged into such a state of indolent lethargy, that I can’t even be bothered to pause Man Against Food, drag my sorry ass off the sofa and open the door to the delivery fella. It shits on my day when I see the van turn up because I know I’ve got to carry the bags into the kitchen. It only takes two minutes but there’s got to be a better way in this day and age.”

We approached Tesco, who deliver Terry’s shopping, for a comment. A spokesman said. “We are always interested in customer feedback and constantly trying to improve the customer experience.  We have taken on board Mr Thomas’s comments and wonder whether he would like our driver to come in to the house, pack everything away in cupboards, and then pop round later to cook the bastard for him when he’s ready.”


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