Go to ...

The Rotherham Bugle

RSS Feed

2017-11-17

Fake Postman Exposed After Turning Up For Work Wearing Trousers


A real postman

A Rotherham man who has been masquerading as a postman for the past 6 months, blew his own cover last week when he turned up for a delivery round wearing long trousers.

Letter box fetishist Roland Dimple from Swinton had infiltrated the tight-knit ‘Postanista’ as it’s known in the local sorting office, and had gained daily unauthorised access to a wide range of otherwise inaccessible mail receptacles. But his reign of debauchery came to a sudden end last Thursday when the temperature dropped below zero, and he turned up for work in a pair of Farrah slacks.

“We knew something was wrong straight away,” said delivery manager Ashley Crevice, “A real postman wouldn’t be seen dead in long trousers until he’s seen a penguin wearing a Parka. We challenged Dimple straight away and he owned up to everything.”

This isn’t the first time Dimple has infiltrated a profession, only to be caught out by his own inattention to detail. Just last year we reported how a brief foray into the plumbing world to feed a lurid toilet pan fascination, came to a swift end after he turned up for a job on time, smiled and offered an old lady from Wath a decent price on some new bathroom taps.