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Archives for August 2017

Wickersley Man In Toilet Roll Turmoil

A Wickersley man was bracing himself for two weeks of hell last night, after opening a faulty toilet roll. Richard Swipe, 33, from Morthern Road had made a particularly satisfactory deposit on Sunday evening when he ripped open a new roll and made the shocking discovery. “I blame myself,” he told us as we caught

Love Island Cull Plan Hits Trouble

A plan to execute all applicants for a new TV series hit the buffers last night,  after vigorous protests from environmentalists. Over 80,000 people have applied to take part in the next series of  hit  ITV2 show,  Love Island, which features 32 narcissist, exhibitionist, steroid-bolstered, cosmetically enhanced imbeciles shagging in a villa. A government spokesman