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Local ‘Eco Warrior’ Exposed As Just A Scruffy Twat

A man who was thought to be a politically active vegetarian eco warrior is just a scruffy twat, it has emerged.

Rob Hill, 25, from Whiston, who wears threadbare sweaters, stained skinny jeans and battered Converse trainers, hasn’t washed or cut his hair for three years.

Locals assumed he was some sort of tree hugging carrot muncher and he played up to the image by smoking roll ups, calling everyone ‘man’,  and conspicuously carrying a copy of socialist worker. But his story started to unravel when he was tagged in a Facebook video, eating a Big Mac and lobbing the empty box into a vicarage hedge.

“Eco warrior?” laughed his mother, June when we spoke to her this week “Stop it or you’ll need a mop! That lad can’t even be arsed to separate the recycling out, so saving the planet’s going to be a bit beyond him. The only thing eco about him is his face fungus.”

When the Bugle confronted Hill, he owned up to the truth. “People just assumed I was a bit of a leftie veggie environmentalist because I look like a bag of shit, and I went along with it. “ he said, “but I’m just a skanky soap dodger who’s too tight to buy any new clothes. Truth is I live on meat pies, vote UKIP and hate anything green, unless it’s got pockets and comes with balls and cues.”

Having had his cover blown, Hill says he’s considering a move to the Crookes area of Sheffield where he says it will be easier to blend in.

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