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The Rotherham Bugle

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2024-04-25

Squirrel Population Control Plan To Be Rolled Out?


The Animal and Plant agency today announced government-backed plans to control the population of  grey squirrels by giving them  an oral contraceptive hidden in chocolate spread secreted in popular feeding areas.  Scientists believe that over  the next five years the plans would reduce the number of grey squirrels, – generally regarded as a pest because of their detrimental effect on their local  environment, – by more than 90 per cent, from 3.5 million to less than 300,000.

Prince Charles has given his backing to the idea because it means no grey squirrels would have to be killed, but numbers would be successfully reduced by the prevention of millions of  counter-productive births.  As the Rotherham Bugle went to press, it was unclear whether the Prince has  given his approval to a parallel plan to introduce a similar additive to  Iceland frozen Pizzas,  Greggs pasties  and anything served in a bucket at KFC.

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