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The Rotherham Bugle

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2017-08-20

Archives for February 2017

Squirrel Population Control Plan To Be Rolled Out?

The Animal and Plant agency today announced government-backed plans to control the population of  grey squirrels by giving them  an oral contraceptive hidden in chocolate spread secreted in popular feeding areas.  Scientists believe that over  the next five years the plans would reduce the number of grey squirrels, – generally regarded as a pest because

Rotherham Woman Doesn’t Like Her Friends

A Rotherham woman doesn’t actually like any of her friends it has emerged. Karen Walker, 32 from Brinsworth says that despite seemingly having a wide circle of friends, she’d rather have her crack waxed than spend time with any of them.  “The thing is,” she told us “I picked up all these so called friends

Warne Puts Latest Defeat Down To Fake News

Rotherham interim manager Paul Warne has angrily dismissed claims that his side were thrashed 5-0 by Cardiff City yesterday, as fake news. He told a packed press conference that stories suggesting that The Millers had been soundly beaten in South Wales were without substance. “The team is running like a finely oiled machine” he said.

The Big Buttock Tattoo Is Here!

Despite public demand, our new book, The Big Buttock Tattoo,  featuring a compilation of the least unpopular articles from The Rotherham Bugle, is now published. In consumer tests, it proved to be an infallible cure for insomnia, the ideal size for a two pint beer mat, and the perfect gift for that special person in

Secret Internment Plan For Fly Tippers Revealed

As fly tipping grows to epidemic proportions in the borough, the Bugle understands that  Rotherham Council are working on a radical plan to capture and intern those responsible. It has emerged that work has already started on the camp – to be modelled on the infamous Guantanamo Bay facility in Cuba, on the former site