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The Rotherham Bugle

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2017-06-28

Archives for November 2016

Rotherham Fish & Chip Shops To Be Closed At Weekends

Following Jamie Oliver basing his healthy eating campaign in Rotherham a few years ago, it’s perhaps no surprise that the town is taking the lead in a new initiative to tackle the obesity crisis. From next month, Rotherham Council have announced that all Fish and Chip shops in the borough will be compulsorily closed between

Useless Local Council Worker Gets Away With It By Flirting

A useless Rotherham borough council office worker says she is able to compensate for her incompetence and general sloth by being  mildly  flirtatious. Natasha Richards, 28, who scrubs up reasonably well, admits that she does a piss  poor job, but survives  by cultivating an atmosphere of ill defined sexual tension in the workplace. “I can

Alan Stubbs Chooses Club Christmas Tree

Alan Stubbs may have been sacked as Rotherham United manager over a month ago, but The Bugle understands that his last job before leaving the club was to choose the club Christmas Tree which stands  forlornly in front of the stadium. Although we haven’t had this officially confirmed, selection of the tree (pictured) has all

The Day Fidel Castro Came To Rotherham

The death of former Cuban president Fidel Castro this week, brought back memories of happier times for 90 year old Dalton man Arthur Cox. Arthur was landlord of The Grapes pub in Dalton in the 1950’s, and remembers a young Fidel Castro  booking into the pub on a bed and breakfast basis. He says that

Rotherham High Flyers To Get Huge Cash Windfall

High flyers in the town were celebrating this week after Chancellor Philip Hammond used his Autumn statement to announce the release of a new national savings bond paying a whopping 2.2% interest a year. The Bugle understand that as many as twenty local residents have the £3,000 in savings needed to take full advantage of

Kilnhurst Man Calls For An End To Black Friday

A Kilnhurst man has called for Black Friday to be re-branded, claiming that the current name is overtly racist. Black Friday is the last Friday of November, and has become widely  known as the day when big discounts can be had from online and offline retailers, but Ray Steele believes the name carries sinister racial

Treeton Tiler In Testicle Turmoil

A Treeton man who paid over £2,000 to have a ‘testicle lift’ operation, because the left one hung lower than the right, was reeling  this week after learning that they’re supposed to be like that. Richard Cobbler from Wood Lane, underwent the painful surgery last month after suffering years of mental anguish and acute embarrassment

Wentworth Woodhouse Mystery Solved

On a day when  it was announced that the government have earmarked £7.6 million to help repair Wentworth Woodhouse, there was more good news for the popular local landmark. An amateur historian has solved a puzzle which has caused furious debate amongst both locals and visitors to the area,  for generations. Majestic Wentworth Woodhouse stands

Maltby Man Gives Up On Business After Whelk Stall Flop

A Maltby man has finally given up on any hope of running his own successful business after his whelk stall went into voluntary liquidation.  A whelk stall is colloquially seen as the smallest and simplest of commercial enterprises to run,  and so the insult “He couldn’t run a whelk stall”, is often used to denote

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