A row has broken out in the normally sleepy village of Rawmarsh, and it’s all to do with Christmas decorations. Regular visitors to the picturesque hamlet will be well aware of the pride locals take in putting on a spectacular Christmas display, but it seems some residents aren’t pulling their weight this year.
Tradition has it that all houses in the conservation area around South Street have their Christmas lights in place and fully operational by the end of August. Indeed, so keen are some householders to delight visitors to the district, that they don’t take down their decorations from one year to the next for fear of missing the important deadline. But now, there is criticism that newcomers to the area are letting the side down
“It’s a. ******** disgrace” said Julie Beever of Ingshead Avenue as she put a bit more air into a sagging inflatable Santa. “It’s 14th of October and some of these buggers haven’t even got so much as a piece of tinsel up yet. They’ll be laughing at us in Swinton. I blame the immigrants.”
Local councillor Sid Statham was equally scathing. “It’s what sets this village apart” he told us “Yes, people will still visit for the architecture, the views and the culture, but the Christmas lights are the cherry on the cake. It’s important that everyone joins in.”
We caught up with a bemused Lee Cobbler in the Fighting Cocks who has recently downsized to the area after being evicted from a bed sit in nearby Parkgate. “I don’t know about cherry on the cake” he told us “more like cherry on a turd. If they think I’m wasting my lecky lighting up the street for a load of saddo poverty tourists from Wickersley they’re one off.”
A spokesman for Yorkshire Electricity scoffed at rumours that over 30% of company profits are earned via Rawmarsh Christmas lights. “Absolutely ridiculous” he told The Bugle, “I just told that to the guys in accounts recovery and I don’t think they’ll stop laughing for a week.”