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The Rotherham Bugle

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2017-11-24

Rotherham Man Discovers Miracle Baldness ‘Cure’

A Wickersley man has discovered a miracle cure for baldness which he hopes will help the millions of men throughout the world, mentally scarred by this debilitating affliction. Damian Badgerhill, 45, says, that he became self-conscious about his thinning thatch after a couple of former girlfriends pointed it out at intimate moments. “I considered all

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Celebrations at Land Rover As Evoque Successfully Mounts a Kerb

Champagne corks were popping at Land Rover headquarters in Gaydon last night, following the news that a Range Rover Evoque has successfully mounted a kerb. Four years after launch, it’s the first time that an  Evoque  owner has deliberately left the tarmac. Tanya Goodbody from Wickersley was dropping her children Ivor and Wanda off at

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Kardashian Goes Into Meltdown After Arse Goes Out Of Fashion

Celebrity buttock flaunter Kim Kardashian was said to have gone into meltdown last night after it emerged that her arse has unexpectedly gone out of fashion. The woman who has built an entire business empire on her gargantuan glutes was said to be inconsolable after fashion experts suddenly declared that having an arse on which

Shock New Historical Sex Allegation Rocks Blue Peter

More childhood memories were left in tatters last night after historic sex allegations hit perennial children’s TV favourite Blue Peter. A Rotherham woman, who has asked not to be named, has come forward to say that she was the victim of an assault when she was a guest on the show in the mid 1970’s.

TV Viewers Vent Fury As Muslims Depicted As Normal

TV viewers reacted with anger last night after Tesco’s new Christmas advert was shown for the first time, depicting a Muslim family acting like normal people. The controversial ad’ shows a Muslim family eating good food, laughing and enjoying time together, and has resulted in a number of customers vowing to boycott the store in

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Online Shopper Can’t Even Be Arsed To Answer The Door

A Bramley man who orders his supermarket shopping online says he can no longer be bothered to answer the door. Terry Thomas,  48, says that while ordering groceries online seemed like a luxury at first, nowadays it just pisses him off that he has to go to the door and  take the bags off the

BBC Countryfile Filming Suspended After Presenter Gets Parking Ticket

Filming of cutting edge BBC show Countryfile was dramatically suspended last night after one of the presenters was accused of parking illegally. Previously well respected veteran broadcaster, John Craven, was issued with a fixed penalty parking ticket, after leaving his Porsche  outside a chip shop in Leeds on Tuesday evening. A clearly upset Craven was forthright when

Man Who Created Bitcoin Says He Was ‘Just Buggering About’.

The financial world descended into panic last night after the mysterious creator of Bitcoin finally broke cover and admitted he was just buggering about. The development of the Crypto currency, which has billions of dollars invested in it throughout the world, has been previously attributed to someone using the name Satoshi Nakamoto,  thought to be

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