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The Rotherham Bugle

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2017-08-20

Research Brings Weight Loss Breakthrough For Rotherham Women

Sports Scientists have made a breakthrough discovery that is set to revolutionise the way local women control their weight. The research, at the university of Central Rawmarsh, has revealed that walking at a snail’s pace  while pumping your arms like a demented clockwork robot and talking shite to your mate Sharon, is not an effective

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Rotherham Man Furious After Buying ‘One Lady Owner’ Car

A Brinsworth man who bought a car online,  after seeing it advertised as having ‘one lady owner’, has told of his anger after discovering it has knackered alloys, multiple parking dents and a whole bunch of furry gonk type shit hanging from the rear view mirror. Terry Liversedge  says  he bought the 2014 Ford Focus

Wickersley Man In Toilet Roll Turmoil

A Wickersley man was bracing himself for two weeks of hell last night, after opening a faulty toilet roll. Richard Swipe, 33, from Morthern Road had made a particularly satisfactory deposit on Sunday evening when he ripped open a new roll and made the shocking discovery. “I blame myself,” he told us as we caught

Love Island Cull Plan Hits Trouble

A plan to execute all applicants for a new TV series hit the buffers last night,  after vigorous protests from environmentalists. Over 80,000 people have applied to take part in the next series of  hit  ITV2 show,  Love Island, which features 32 narcissist, exhibitionist, steroid-bolstered, cosmetically enhanced imbeciles shagging in a villa. A government spokesman

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Tory Voter Switches To Labour Thanks To Internet Forum Expert

A lifelong Conservative party supporter has pledged to change his allegiance to Labour after being put right in no uncertain terms on an Internet football forum. Tony Lewis, 62 from Wickersley was fully intending to vote Conservative as usual on June 8th, before he got involved in a political spat on the Rotherham United Millers

Rotherham Women Poised For Eye Candy Bonanza

As temperatures look set to soar in to the high teens this weekend, Rotherham women are preparing themselves for a visual treat as local men from Thurcroft to Thurnscoe whip off their shirts and display their pub-ready bodies for the first time this year. The borough looks set to be awash with pale sweaty male flesh

Brexit Fails To Deliver In Rotherham

Brexit has been a pathetic failure it has emerged, after a group of “foreign looking Herberts” were spotted brazenly walking around Rotherham town centre. In the week that Article 50 was finally triggered, It was just the latest in a  whole series of incidents that showed that the UK’s exit from the EU has failed

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Local ‘Eco Warrior’ Exposed As A Fraud

A man who was thought to be a politically active vegetarian eco warrior is just a scruffy twat, it has emerged. Rob Hill, 25, from Whiston, who wears threadbare sweaters, stained skinny jeans and battered Converse trainers, hasn’t washed or cut his hair for three years. Locals assumed he was some sort of tree hugging

Rotherham Man To Sue Brewery After Losing Sight Of Penis

A twenty stone crane driver from Brinsworth is set  to sue brewers John Smiths, after losing sight of his own penis. Mick Tubbs 42,  from  Duncan Street says the quantity of beer he has consumed over the years is directly responsible for the emergence of a space hopper belly which is obscuring the  view of

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